Have you ever noticed how life keeps giving you little ‘reminders’ until you’ve learned the lesson?
The other day, I was polishing my toenails and managed to spill nail polish on my carpet. And what colour was it? Bright red of course. And was the bottle full bottle or nearly empty? Naturally, it was full, full, full because it was brand new. So in a flash, the carpet soaked up an impressive amount. Ah yes.
And just before it happened, a little voice inside my head said ‘Careful, Kris, you could spill that. Better put your feet and the bottle of polish on a magazine or put the polish on the table.’ But did I? No, Instead, I told my little voice that I’d be careful and it would be okay. And the little voice replied to the effect, ‘Oh, dear, when are you going to learn to listen to me?’ I then proceeded to knock the full bottle of bright red nail polish over.
We’ve all got little voices inside our heads and the more we listen to them, the more accurate they become and the better off we are. Sometimes, of course, that little voice is just a sudden ‘knowing’ or a feeling, or it might be a thought or an idea that just pops into your head. Or it might speak to you in a dream. But however it arrives, your inner voice is usually worth listening to because it has access to information that you know but don’t know you know. (If you know what I mean.)
So how do you go about first of all hearing, and then listening to, that little voice? You can’t even begin to hear it if you’re always on the go, never stopping, never resting. You need stillness, both physically and, equally important, mentally, which means turning off your internal chatter so the real message can come through.
Archimedes inner voice spoke to him while he was vegging out in the bath, wondering how to determine the volume of an object with an irregular shape. The answer suddenly came to him, to which he replied ‘Eureka!’. He was so excited that he ran through town having forgotten to put his clothes on. Newton’s inner voice came as an apple landing on his head as he dozed under an apple tree, explaining that gravity works the same way on little objects like apples as it does on big objects, like planets.
So give your inner voice a chance by taking a little mental and physical rest. Your voice inside may whisper at first, but the more you tune into it, the clearer it becomes. Just remember to put your clothes on.
We’ve been looking at some ideas to keep you afloat while you find your feet if you’re a new leader. I thought we’d look at tips for all leader-managers in this post. Since a huge part of your job no doubt entails communication, the tips are in the form of eight positive principles for cooperative communication. And here they are.
- Soften the ‘you’s’ or turn them into ‘I’s’ to avoid sounding pushy and dictatorial. So instead of saying ‘You’ll have to …’ say ‘Could you …’ or ‘Would you be able to …’ or ‘What I need is …’.
- Turn your cant’s into cans. Instead of ‘We can’t do that until next week’ say ‘We’ll be able to do that next week’.
- Take responsibility. It’s tempting to push blame onto someone else or to an unfortunate turn of events or an unexpected situation. But we’re not kids anymore, are we? When something goes wrong, saying ‘Here’s what I can do to fix that’ is much better.
- Say what you want, not what you don’t want. Rather than ‘Don’t race through this and make mistakes’ try ‘Think this through – take it one step at a time.’
- Offer improvement suggestions. When you’re tempted to say ‘That was OK but …’ or ‘That works except …’ try ‘If you do X, that will make it perfect!’
- Turn complaints into requests. ‘You never …’ becomes ‘How about…?’
- Share information. Rather than argue or accuse, you can offer your point of view and explain how you see a situation.
- Leave doors open. That way, a flat out ‘No’ can become a ‘Yes, as soon as …’.
These principles not only strengthen your working relationships, they also make you a great role model for your team and set the tone for a positive working climate.
Now that you’re no longer ‘one of the gang’, you may want to make a few verbal contracts with your former workmates to identify potential problems and how to avoid them. The goal is to agree ground rules for working together. Lead the conversation to cement your new relationship. If a team member/friend asks for special treatment, consider whether you’d provide it to other team members. When the answer is No, the answer is No. You will face difficult decisions and doing what is needed sometimes makes you unpopular.
Find a mentor to talk through difficulties with. Build support networks and ask for help when you need it (and offering plenty of help in return). Learn to work well with your new boss and agree your measures of success so you can spend your time working to priorities. That means you may not always be available to your team and sometimes you need to say ‘Sorry, I don’t have five minutes now. Can we catch up at 4 o’clock?’.
Maintain a ‘tidy’ workplace, one that operates safely at all times and respects people as individuals, for the contributions they make and for what makes them special. Not everyone has to love everyone but each team member should understand what the others do, value their contributions and treat each other with professional respect and common courtesy.
Make time to step back and reflect on how you’re going. Do this every day, perhaps as you sit on the train or have your morning cuppa. What are you doing that’s working well? What isn’t working so well? What can you do better? Should the ‘imposter syndrome’ strike, remember that you got the job because you deserve it.
Robert Frost wrote: Education is hanging around until you’ve caught on’. The same might be said of leadership. Build your own leadership model and add to it as you grow into the role and develop your skills in your own way. Adapt effective behaviours of other leaders but don’t copy them because it won’t look authentic; something that is perfectly natural for one leader can easily look fake and forced when copied by another leader. Your actions need to be true to yourself and in harmony with your own personal style.
Here are some concepts to apply in your own unique way:
- Build employee engagement and motivation to drive productivity and customer loyalty.
- Build pride in good performance and achievements.
- Build a solid risk awareness and safety culture.
- Lead by conversation, not dictation.
- Make clear and role model the behaviours and attitudes you expect from your team.
- Show that you appreciate people’s efforts.
- Show that you expect members to learn and share what they’ve learned.
Leadership begins inside, with your mindsets and world views. More than anything, you need to think like a leader.
Leadership is a lifelong journey. So hang in there and you’ll catch on!