A few weeks ago, we looked at how much we reveal about ourselves through our unspoken messages. But that is not to say words aren’t important. They are. They’re really important. A poor choice of words can instantly switch people off and lose you their goodwill – or gain it. Your words can instantly irritate or create cooperation, help or hinder, confuse or clarify. You can choose words that are forceful or accommodating, impartial or emotive, clear or vague, courteous or challenging, depending on your purpose.
Whatever your purpose, you probably want to choose clear, positive and powerful words.
· Clear positive and powerful because the way you talk colours the way you think and the way you think shapes the way you act.
- Clear positive and powerful because the way you talk influences the way others see you.
- Clear positive and powerful because they make what you say understandable, unambiguous and persuasive.
- Clear positive and powerful because they can set a constructive tone to a conversation.
Choosing clear words isn’t as easy as it might sound. The 500 most commonly used English words have an average of 28 meanings each, which in part accounts for people understanding something quite different from what we mean. At any rate, clear words don’t include double-speak and they generally don’t include jargon (unless you’re talking to an expert, in which case, jargon can be very clear and precise).
Clear words are usually descriptive and specific; so rather than say you’ll send something, you can say you’ll post it, air mail it, courier it or scan and email it. You might want to say when you plan to do this, too. Or in a service situation, you might instruct staff not to ‘be polite to customers’ but to ‘make customers feel like special guests in our home’.
Positive words: here’s what we don’t want to hear:
You’ll have to fill out the form and send it back.
I can’t do that until Monday.
Don’t do that.
Negative gets people’s backs up. Positive brings a smile to their face:
You’ll want to fill out the form and send it back so that I can … for you.
I can do that on Monday for you.
Try it this way.
Much better, right?
Powerful words are strong. We know a strong word when we hear it and we know a weak word, too.
I may be able to do that.
It might work.
I’ll try to get to that soon.
I’ll see what I can do.
We lose all faith in speakers of weak words and we know they don’t even begin to mean what they say. Powerful words sink in and give you credibility.
So clear, positive and powerful words are the way to go. They’ll get you a lot more of what you want.
And here’s some icing for your cake: Choose words that the other person uses.
Using similar types of words and expressions that the person you’re speaking with uses makes your words hit home even more . These might be formal or informal, correct or colloquial. Use technical terms or long words when that’s what your conversational partner uses, or everyday terms or short words when these are more in harmony.
This works because people have a characteristic way of speaking, called an idiolect. They arrange words in certain ways and use certain styles of words and expressions. Harmonising your words with theirs puts you in synch because and makes it easier for people to understand you. Your message gets through loud and clear.
Choosing the right word and the right combination of words is essential, so choose your words with care.