Dealing with setbacks and stuff ups

On any given day, do one or two, ok maybe a dozen things go not quite as you’d hoped? And do you ever make a mistake? Things happen and no one ever does everything perfectly. It’s how you handle it that counts.

When something goes wrong, accept it. It is what it is. Reframe it positively,  look for the humour and and see what you can do to make the situation better.

When you make a mistake, on the outside, own up. Apologise when necessary, and fix it. Obvious enough, really. But that isn’t the end of it. What you do on the inside is important, too.

Here are four ‘don’ts’ (and these apply to things going awry, too):

  1. Don’t get angry with yourself (or anyone else).
  2. Don’t make it bigger than it is; a mistake doesn’t make you a horrible, useless person and it probably won’t ruin your life for all eternity.
  3. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen.
  4. Don’t mope.

And here are three ‘do’s’:

  1. Put it in perspective.
  2. Figure out what you need to do better, or need to learn in order to do better.
  3. Don’t repeat your mistake.

That’s how to learn from experience. And you know what they say about experience: It’s something you don’t get until just after you need it.

The truth is, we need to make lots of mistakes in order to get really good at just about anything. In fact, it’s a far better mindset to think not of mistakes but of ‘learning experiences’ or ‘life lessons’. That’s the recipe for getting better, and better, and better.

It’s also the recipe for handling mistakes well on the inside. When you can do that, you automatically handle them well on the outside. You don’t say: ‘I’m so stupid, I blew it yet again!’ You say: ‘I could have done it better and here’s how I’ll approach it from now on.’

Mistakes, learning opportunities, mishaps and misadventure–they’re all grist for the mill to be taken in your stride.

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